We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be. ~May Sarton

from my bookshelf

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Proven Wrong: the Ups and Downs

Much to my pleasure, I received a reply from C--- the other day. Needless to say, I was wrong in so many ways, and have never been happier to be proven so. While I thought that we were through with each other, we really aren't. C--- is dealing with a lot right now. I can tell, as he wouldn't really tell me how he's doing. In fact, there was no mention at all in the email concerning where he is in life right now, which still leaves me concerned, but this is where I need to make sure that I don't become my usual overbearing self...too much. It's clear to me that he is still avoiding me for whatever reason, but I wish he would just be open with me, about everything. I don't think there is anything that he could tell me that would be that shocking. Well, the rest that is floating around in my head needs to be written to him directly, not here.

Other than that, life has been going along as usual. I took a personal day last Friday to catch up on some things at home, only to be struck down with a horrible headache for most of the morning (karma got me on that one!). Saturday, I spent most of the day cleaning the apartment from top to bottom. As I sat there afterward, looking around, I realized how much I love my apartment. There are times that I become incredibly frustrated with my lack of space, but that is only in direct relation to the amount of stuff that I purchase (that is an entirely different post for another day). Truly, though, B--- and I have really brought it all together nicely, and I adore the way it looks now. Our anniversary with the complex is coming up, and we are both quite happy with renewing our lease for another year.

Saturday evening, S---- came over to have dinner and watch movies, but ended up going home early because she didn't feel well. She and I had a few words (which is rare) over something that to me should have not been that big of a deal, but for whatever reason became something. In truth, it just shows me that I still need to work on keeping control of myself and not letting little things get to me. No matter how much I feel like I'm doing better, something minuscule comes along to prove me wrong (and this is not one of the times that I like to be proven wrong).

After S---- left Saturday, I started to not feel well. Thinking that maybe I caught whatever S---- had, I emailed R--- and told her that we may have to change plans on Sunday. That next morning, she called and said that maybe it would be a good idea to wait all the same, even though I was feeling better, just in case I really was sick. So I spent the day reading the new Barnes & Noble Recommends book, the Double Bind by Chris Bohjalian, which did not immediately grab me like the Thirteenth Tale, but it did prove to be a exceptionally good read all the same, with quite the twist at the end. I thought I had a grasp of what the twist was going to be, but while I was close, I didn't quite have it right. In fact, I was enjoying the book so much, I actually skipped out on watching Desperate Housewives!

I start my calligraphy class tonight, and I'm really looking forward to it. It's being held at the library, so I may stop up early to check out the book store they have there. You can find some really good deals on books there if you take the time to look.

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