We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be. ~May Sarton

from my bookshelf

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Searching

What exactly am I searching for? I'm not really sure right now. But I know that I am searching for the new me. I think I've finally found all the broken pieces from the last year, and now I want to put them back together again, but not the way they were before. I want something better. I want to be better. Part of me is scared of what is going to come out of all of this, but I am equally, if not more so, excited to see who I'm going to be. Is everybody going to like the new me? I don't know. I don't even know if I'm going to like the new me, but it's me, so I'd better learn to.

I relate so much to music, and for so long Madonna was my inspiration, and she will always be my Diva Goddess, but lately GaGA has been speaking to me on many levels. I feel like part of what I'm searching for is in her music. I don't know how better to explain it, but that's it. I think I'm searching for accepting myself the way I am, that this is who I am and it's time that I started embracing that instead of trying to be somebody else that I think people want me to be.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You got it, sweetie. Congratulations on reaching the emotional milestone that cries: "What you see is what you get, folks. And it ain't half bad." It's a powerful epiphany to be sure, yet one that's hard to look at and fully examine directly, like trying to watch an eclipse without your Foster Grants. Keep up the good fight and know you are never alone in this world. I got your back. Luv, Cuz.