So, I put my Christmas tree up last night and put some of my nutcrackers out and immediately hated all of it. I wanted to tear it all down. And not take it down, mind you, but literally tear it apart. What the hell?

I just can't see the point of it. I feel like I'm just going through the motions of doing something I feel like I should be doing. I was hoping that once I started putting the decorations out, it would get me in the mood, but I don't feel a thing. I feel no excitement for the holidays this year. Nothing. 

I'm really fucking tired of feeling like this.