We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be. ~May Sarton

from my bookshelf

Wednesday, April 4, 2007


I don't get it. I have been distracted to almost art-form perfection lately. I pick up a book, and get through maybe the first chapter before I set it down and move on to the next one. Currently, I have started roughly 8 books in the last month, none of which I have finished, which is unlike me. I haven't been reading comics in months. I keep buying them, but not really reading them. In fact, I started riffling through the big stack in my closet, and there wasn't a one there that I was interested in. Maybe it's time to start clearing them out while I'm so disinterested, before I change my mind and decide to keep them all again. I've been buying the trade paperback editions lately as it is, so I think I will continue doing that. Easier space-wise and money-wise in the long run (not so cheap right now, but as I start to sell sets and then buy the replacement trades, the cost should start to balance out with the income from selling off the individual issues). I joined the Blockbuster online rental service, and just mailed back my first movie after keeping it for almost 5 weeks. There was a waste of $10. I'd like to know why. Part of it is because I have been busy the last couple of weeks, with vacation and all. Another part of it is I think I'm trudging through a small depression right now. I have no energy when I get home. Lately, all I do is watch TV, or sleep, or just sit and stare at the wall. I try to do something that would normally hold my attention, like reading, but I just drift off to sleep or realize that I am reading the same paragraph over and over because nothing is registering in my head as to what I've just read. I think some of it has to do with my weight. I'm just so big now, all my energy is just gone. It's a horrible Catch-22, as I need the energy to loose the weight, but I'm so heavy, I can't muster the energy to do anything except sit and eat, which just makes me bigger. Add to that the winter weather that's returned, and it doesn't equal very good chances of my attitude changing any time soon, either. Ugh...

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